Personal: Which side of me do you think you know?

Think you know me very well? Think again.

To be very honest, I am a person who cares a lot about what others think of me and hence, I often put up a front. To most of the people who knows me, I am probably seen as a person who is very fierce, less fun or not fun at all, uptight, too serious etc etc basically not someone to hang out with.

I am lucky to have made many friends who stick around even though that's the person they get. The only few people who really get to see the real me aka the crazy me are probably my sister and raymond. Sometimes the fun me do come out and play for a bit when I drink alcohol which is also why my friends say they like me better when I'm drunk (minus the part where I get the jelly legs).

I also want to be the fun one but I'm afraid I might scare some people off or they might think I'm on drugs or somethings. Haha. I guess sticking to what you're good at (pretending) is more of a safe choice?

I picked out a few photos of me over the past 4 years, which one do you think is me? Scaredy cat? Crazy clubber? Heart-attack forfeit stick on the wall girl? Prim and proper? 

Things you probably don't know about me:

1. I love making funny faces and make weird noises that's irritating just to irritate people. I used to sing to weird tunes with horrible lyrics just to wake my sister up so she'll have breakfast with me. 
2. I like to laugh, really weird laughters that's hilarious and I'm not afraid to do that in front of my sister/raymond but not in front of others. 
3. I can pose very well for cameras, just not for people I know. Weird isn't it? I had like a short photoshoot (not exactly a photoshoot but they took photos), I really went all out to pose but I'm not even a tiny bit embarrassed when they were all strangers, total strangers! But when I'm with people I know, sorry, only the 招牌 smile. 
4. I am an ultimate scaredy cat. I guess some of you might already have known because this is not something that I can mask with another persona. If I'm scared just means I'm scared! Just look at that jump that I took. I'm usually less adventurous but if it seems safe after many others had done it then ok, I can try but at the end of the day I'm still afraid of the unknown.
5. I am funny. Ok, only to raymond. I make stupid jokes and spastic actions sometimes and I'm totally not afraid of being judged by him. I guess afraid of being judged is probably one of the reasons why I kept a certain image in front of others.
6. I text with slang but I don't speak the same way. Weird huh? I just find it hard to get those words out of my mouth as I talk. 
7. When my friends joke, I actually am secretly saying another joke to carry on that convo in my heart but I never once said it out. Woah! 
8. I may seem all strong and independent from the outside but in fact I am very very dependent on Raymond (not everything la) and I break down easily. For e.g. I just saw a gruesome video on facebook yesterday and I am still extremely disturbed by it. I cried. Not that I know the victim but I felt like where is humanity? 
9. I like to 打架, don't get me wrong. It's not the real fight. It's like a really rough game just to disturb each other and I used to do that with my sister but we're always ok about it. We know it's just for fun though we can get quite rough like pulling hair and etc. Raymond just recently saw this side of me. The crazy bitch. 
10. I worry a lot. I am a total pessimist. I always look on the dark side of things. And so, I really enjoy tuition with my sec 3 Amath students because they are always laughing and it seems to me that they would be optimistic even when the sky falls. 
11. I am extremely afraid of death. Ok, I honestly don't know what I'm afraid of because everyone dies. It's probably the departure, separation from loved ones and the possible pain I might have to deal with when it happens. 
12. I hate reptiles!!! I cannot explain to you the magnitude of detest and loathe I have for this group of animals but I just don't like it. I try to stay away from them as much as I can. Even the virtual ones!!! I did not watch Snakes on the plane because the main story is about snakes. Yucks!